Our Ambitions...!

It’s been so long that I didn’t write anything in this blog. Well, the reason for that is Laziness. Yes, that is the main reason and apart from that there are some other reasons. One of them is I was thought less for few days. I wanted some break, and see what I am writing in my blog and weather it is good or not. Till now I never find the solution. I am not very clear about what to write in blog. If I write my daily dairy many of my friends said that it is useless. They may be true becoz, there is nothing to do with my blah blah. However, sometimes I feel that whatever I am writing is also useless since everyone knows it..! Does it mean writing something in my mind is either use less or worth less? So, what is the best solution..? Just quit the blog and say nothing…! Or else wait for some good thought and write then. You know, all these thoughts were on top of my head. Any way one thought is spinning my mind from several days, and I wanna share that with you. I am not sure it is interesting and I don’t think it is something new which I discovered.
Before telling my Blah Blah, Let me ask you guys a question..! “May I know Your Ambition or do you know what your aim is? Do we have any idea about our Target? Do we really have any hobby? Did we ever think of how to celebrate the holidays…?” For all of these questions many of us don’t have a proper answer..! Am I right? I always asked these questions to myself, but I never got the answer. I don’t know what my ambition is? I have no proper idea about my aim or Target. I don’t even have a good hobby. If I find some holiday, either I sleep or I watch movies. I don’t do any specific things on weekends. Only thing will be in my mind on a holiday is to wash my clothes and Iron them. Rest of the day watch some movie or do some non-sense. I believe there are so many people like me…! Am I wrong to assume this?
Well, I may not be wrong to assume that fact. If you are like me, ask yourself why we are like this? If you get any answer please let me know. I analyzed these questions. I came up with my idea. I’ll share with you. Correct me if it is a wrong Idea.

If we ask any one (even ask ourselves) “What is your Ambition?” Some people say they want to be a Collector or they want to be an Engineer, or they want to be a doctor, but the truth is, he or She (Ourselves) just wants to earn some money and get some value and some level in the society. We don’t really know our Ambition, even if we know we don’t dare for it sometime. Let me give you some example, “If my ambition is to become a software Engineer, I’ll go and study Computer Science Engineering or Information Technology in our under graduation. However I’ll look at the situation around the globe, hey man Software Industry is very bad. There are so many ups and downs in it. Many IT Professionals are getting fired from their jobs. So, I won’t dare to study CSE in Bachelor’s. I’ll go study something like ECE or EEE. I know it is not my interested field but still I’ll go and study it. “

You know why I am doing this…? Just because of money. We are leaving our Ambition somewhere and trying our luck in some other field for which there is demand and for which we get money. I never had some ambition in my life. I never dreamed about my ambition. I dreamed like I had a big Bungalow, and big Car and some value in the Society. May be this is my ambition. I don’t know. I never really had a meaning for ambition in my dictionary. I don’t know what I want to be.

Without my notice I am here in this position. Still Confused about the future..! I’ve completed my 10th Standard and I don’t know what I really want to study in Intermediate. I know I am an average student and I am scared of Mathematics, I always struggled with Science. I am strong only with Social Studies. History was always interesting to me in Social Studies and also Economics I wanted to know about it. You know what, I didn’t know what MPC (Intermediate Subjects) is. May be I was forced or I didn’t dared to tell my father about my interest. I know if I tell my father about my interest he will never agree, because we don’t know the life of a Historian or an Economist. I know how much I struggled in my initial days of Intermediate studying MPC. Thanks to one of my friends Sravan, who helped me to think like a mathematician…! However, I am still poor in Physics and Chemistry. I got excellent marks in Physics and Chemistry though. Once again at the end of my intermediate, big question mark in my mind. What Next?
After MPC Intermediate 90% of people forward their step to Engineering, without even knowing about it. Till Intermediate I used to think an Engineer is one who builds bridges between the roads. I don’t know that there are so many fields are there in Engineering. Confusion again, what field should I choose? I know nothing about any field. At that period of time, Software Industry was in very bad condition. So, no one was daring to go for CSE or IT. My father was same like all. He preferred EEE. Hence I joined in EEE without knowing what an Electrical Engineer does. As a poor Science guy, I started my under graduation. I struggled a lot in Engineering. Till now I never really understood the concepts of Electricity. However I completed my Engineering with First Class. OK…I completed my UG and what next? Everyone searching for jobs, so did I. Till then, Software Industry was in good condition hence, everyone trying their luck in IT, so did I. Luck was not with me I never got the job in India. I saw some of my friends planning for abroad for their further studies, so did I. Luckily, I got this one and Came to USA for my Masters.
How can a poor Electrical guy can complete his masters in EEE? That’s what happened to me, my grades were very bad in Electrical and they suspended me from Electrical Program. Just to maintain status in USA, I took another worse step to transfer to some other university in completely new field, Software Engineering. Ahh..! Come on stop it, how can a non-computer science guy survive in Software Engineering field? You know what, I did it. Thanks to the university (I don’t wanna mention that University Name Here) gave me good grades and handled a degree in Software Engineering. Confusion started again. Any way completed my 18 years of education, and what next? I am neither interested in continuing the studies nor forced to continue the studies further. So, what should I do now…?
Everyone who completed their masters is trying their luck in Software Industry irrespective of their specialization. You know once again, I followed the same thing. I tried as software professional. Yes, I am software professional now, without knowing a SDLC. I am working as Software Analyst without knowing anything. I am just checking my luck in every project.
If I go back and see, where I started and where I am now. Is this the field I am going to continue or will I switch to something else? I don’t know. I am with the same Confusion which I had it 10 years back and I am sure I am always confused till next 10 years. You know what happens next, I will get used to it. Very funny right..!
I know this is what happening with many of us. Does it have any solution? Can we ever live for ourselves? I am of 24 yrs kid; answer “I don’t know” for the question “What your ambition is?” This is what I am doing from last 10 years. Funniest thing is, people used to laugh if I say I don’t know as if they know their ambition. If someone ask me What is my ambition as of now, I’ll say I got to pay my Bank loan. That is the only ambition I have. Pay the Bank loan and Clear the Credit Card debts by any means.

What do I do on a weekend or on free time? Nothing..! I am sure there are so many people like me. We always say “Ahh…it’s boring”. If we have some hobby we never feel boring.
Let me tell you one more story…!

My Team lead is of 50 years age. He has grandsons too. You know what he does in free time? He’ll do Carpentry…! Ya…you read it right. He does. He makes his own bed. He makes cradle to his grandson. He’ll make some interesting gifts for his wife and his sons on their birthdays with carpentry. Why he is taking that much risk in his 50 yrs age. That is his hobby. Some of our team members do Gardening in their free time. They never said that they were bored. I said 10 times every day “it’s boring”.

You know why many of our friends struggle in their education, because they don’t like it. That is the reason many of us get failed in many subjects. Our interest is something, but we deviate to some other direction and forced to adopt the new conditions which we never like.
I saw some of my friends who know their ambition unlike me, but their situation doesn’t support them to be what they wanted. I saw some of my friends want to be a singer, some wanted to be a photographer, and some wants to be a director, some wants to be a politician, some wants to be a movie actor. However, our parents or the society or their mind or some other problem may be stopping them. Encourage those kinds of people…, don’t discourage them.
Anyway, people like me will never change. At least let us encourage some of the people unlike us and try our children will not become like us.
What do you say…!!